Matrimorphy

 The dissolution of a marriage is almost always an unhappy event, at the very least marked by disappointment and the loss of dreams and expectations. In addition, there are usually many legal, financial, parental, emotional, and practical aspects that requires changes in responsibilities and routines, and it can take people years to regain equilibrium.

Almost every clinician I’ve spoken to says a version of the same thing: people divorce too fast.  This doesn’t mean we leave marriages lightly, but rather that once we decide to go, we rush out without making a plan.  We jump into new relationships before emotionally exiting old ones.  All of this rushing can contribute to the angry, contentious divorces we see.  Slowing down, preparing, can help us part more smoothly.

Psychology today: Divorce.

When a couple has been joined for years or decades, the dissolution of the marriage/partnership can be a challenging and painful process.  Current divorce practices are primarily legal and frequently antagonistic in nature and the couple is rarely supported to bring their partnership to a loving and healthy close. 

Untangling from one another energetically and emotionally is essential, if you don’t want to simply repeat the same patterns in your relationships to come. With Matrimorphy, I help you identify and heal the unseen emotional agreements that have been at enacted during your relationship and release any unwanted emotional contracts with each other.

This loving and connected process helps couples find the best possible outcome for restructuring their relationship. How you want the next phase of your relationship to look is up to you! Perhaps you are hoping for friendly co-parenting of your shared children.  Perhaps you hope to remain good friends as you part.  Perhaps you want a total break with your partner with no further communication.  I help you set your goals and meet them, with unity and grace.

At the conclusion of the process, I support couples to design a ceremony to bring their marriage to a sacred completion.  This might be a ceremony just for the couple, or might include children or family members, or it might be a larger community event, depending on the needs of the couple.

The ceremony of change has certain elements to consider:

What is your intention for the ceremony?  How would you like to reset your relationship/connection?  What do you want to release and what do you want to call in?

First feel into how you want the relationship to be in this next phase of life and work backwards from there.  In order for it to be/feel a certain way, what needs to be addressed in order for it to be so?

Your Matrimorphy ceremony might have the following elements:

Celebration and gratitude of the marriage- what were the successes and aspects that worked really well that you want to highlight and remember with love?  What are you grateful for that the other provided?

Releasing- Naming of the places where there was mis-alignment in the relationship.  Where were things the hardest?  As you review these places, are there any things/memories/stories/beliefs about each other that would serve you to release?

Releasing your marriage vows.  This is important.  You made these vows to each other in ceremony long ago, and now you are choosing to release them .

 Resetting the new relationship:  What do you want the new relationship to look/feel like?  What elements do you want to call in? Also, what are your agreements going forward.  How do you agree to engage with each other?  It isn’t like the vows you made when you got married, but rather principles you both agree to that you will follow as best as you can.

Appreciations and gratitude to each other, with blessings offered for the next phase of your individual journeys. 

Threshold- each cross a physical threshold into your new individual life journey.

If this sounds like something you’d like to explore, please reach out!